Funny Things I Overhear

Often times I think I could devote an entire blog to funny things I overhear during my typical day. Today I heard a classic line during my homeward-bound commute. It is also very festive....

Guy on train: "We are going to play the game White Rhino at the party, you know where everyone brings a gift to exchange."
Smarter friend of guy: "Um.....do you mean White Elephant."

In case this isn't obvious, I'm easily amused. Regardless, this was hilarious White Rhino....where the hell did that come from? Maybe it was even more amusing because it reminded me of the While Elephant gift exchange my co-workers and I had last week. Some popular prizes included: a rolling crate, a used Starbucks gift card, my antiqued crock pot (which was a HIT and had been sitting at my cube since September).

Compliment or Diss

Today I was en route to catch my train and some incredibly small for his age kid stops me and starts with, "This is going to sound really stupid, but I have a question for you." Oh God, what a great start....at this point I can't just keep walking and pretend I didn't hear him.

So what was his question...."Where did you get those boots, they would be great for my Halloween costume." Now, I really like these boots, but the LAST thing I associate them with is Halloween. I have no idea what costume this kid was planning on and why my boots went with his costume.

Is that a complete diss or compliment; I'm really not sure.

My Guilty Pleasure

I finally figured out my guilty pleasure is....and it's completely dorky. It's Quizno's veggie sub. There is a Quizno's located near my house, but I only visit it about once a month. I've realized that it's some sort of a lame special treat for me. On Friday, I picked up my favorite sub on my way home from work and I got home and was deliriously happy (granted it was Friday, so that helps). But why on earth does a disgusting looking and terrible un-healthy sub make me so happy.....because it's so damn good. On Friday I came to the realization that every time I pick up their sub I enter a complete happy food coma - and it's great.

Also, I like their apparent new slogan....now I couldn't find anything online about this...but the folks at my local Quizno's were rocking some new t-shirts. The slogan on their shirts "Friends don't let friends eat Subway." Now, I'm no Subway-basher but I thought this was hilarious. Clearly they know Subway is the market leader in subs, but the shirts made me laugh. Ah, I'm so easily amused....it's the small things in life.

How is this news?

Dear CNN,

Levi Johnston posing for Playgirl is NOT news. First off, does anyone subscribe to that publication? I'm pretty sure the answer here is no, because last year the considered folding the magazine.

Second, Levi Johnston is Sarah Palin's daughters ex-boyfriend....in case that doesn't stand out enough, that means no one gives a shit. Okay yes, there are some people who give a shit about Sarah Palin (a few are followers of my blog), but no one cares about her daughter's ex-boyfriend.

I guess some people just want to extent their 15 seconds of fame......lame

Stupid things I do

Yesterday afternoon/evening was the ultimate roller coaster day...down a bridesmaid....up a bridesmaid...dance classes are completed....quick trip to the ER....too much...too much. All after working all day.

T-minus 8 days till I get my normal life back (well, let's be honest it's more like 15 days because we'll be on vacation the week after the wedding - so def not my normal life). Side note: sorry readers, I will not be mobile blogging via Carnival Cruises...I discussed this with T-Mobile, but they wouldn't reduce their mobile fees with Carnival, even if I gave them a shout-out on my blog. I mean do they know how large the following of "Marisa Explains it All" is? Clearly not!

So how did I end up with a quick trip to the ER....bottom line...I am an idiot and I jinx myself. While prepping for the office potluck, (I placed 2nd for best dish - okay it was a 4-way tie & I voted for myself, but hey - what can a girl do) I was in search of a knife that could travel well. Low & behold, I find a knife with it's own safety cover, except the I cannot easily remove the safety cover. Here is where men come in handy, I pass it off to Ryan and say I'm afraid I'm going to cut myself (it's like I can see the future). Ryan shows me how simple it is to take out. I say let me try, I hold the safety lock in my palm and pull the knife out...and cut my palm open....major ouch. I proceed to run into the living room holding my hand very tight so I don't bleed everywhere, while my soon-to-be-husband sits on his ass, thinking I am joking! Let me be clear, I'm never the little boy who cried wolf, I am that stupid, that I would cut myself with a kitchen knife. After yelling my "f-ing hand is bleeding" Ryan realizes I am not joking and I am stupid. Due to the amount of blood we weren't sure if stitches were in order, so we made a quick trip to the Portage ER, to find out stitches weren't needed (woop, woop) only steri strips. An awesome end, to an awesome day.

Things that keep me up at night

When I was in college (not that long ago) I could always spot a non-traditional student from a mile away. What was it that gave them away? Their backpack-on-wheels. My question then is WTF is in the bag that you must have wheels it. Also, it snows....alot in Michigan...so how does that work in the winter?

Now, even post-college I still see them damn backpacks-on-wheels only with my fellow train commuters. My question here is WTF are you bringing to work everyday that you need a backpack-on-wheels. Maybe you should cut back? I guess I'm not one to talk, since my purse weighs 10 pounds but, at least its not on wheels.

Another thing that puzzles me, are the people I see daily, who wheel these large crate like briefcases....again what are you bringing to/from work everyday? Do you really need to bring it home every night? Is it that hard to separate yourself for 10 hours a night. I guess the answer here would be yes, it is too hard for some folks. But these are the things that keep me up late at night wondering.

The picture above makes me laugh even harder because not only is it a backpack-on-wheels but it is also a pet porter. However, I am easily amused. That dog is cute though!

How do you tell someone their weave is falling out?

Today I was on my morning train to work...exciting as ever. On occasion early in the morning there are a few potential lol's, en route to Chicago. This morning I'm sitting there reading "Barefoot" (side note: good read), and a woman sits down in front of me...and I notice something falling out of her hair. But wait....that's not just anything...that is in fact her weave falling out!! Girl needs to get that checked, but should I have been courteous and mentioned her weave was falling out? "Hi, you don't know me but I was sitting behind you and girl your weave is falling out." Now the last thing I want is to get beat down on the morning commuter train. But I did feel a slight moral obligation to mention to the woman she should in fact check the back of her head/weave.